Big changes

This past Sunday I made a trip to Douala to buy groceries in a real supermarket. This is the first time I've gone alone, and let me tell you, it was an experience. I spent 2 hours crammed into the backseat of a minivan, pinned between the side of the car and a stump of a woman who weighed probably close to 120 kilos. My hips were immobilized, as well my knees for the most part. I don't consider myself a nervous person, but I fidget a lot and when my legs are stuck in one position for a long time it becomes excruciatingly painful. At any rate I spent the last hour in a considerable amount of discomfort. We got stuck in traffic which made it even more tough, not knowing how long it might take to finally reach Douala. On the open roads the guy was driving upwards of 70mph which was actually a little scary considering the condition of most passenger vehicles here.

Once finally in Douala I ended up having to walk a few places. Just to set the scene, on Sundays Douala is a complete ghost town. Hardly any roadside vendors, very few people out walking around (but the bakeries and supermarkets are open, which is all I really cared about anyway). During one walk I saw a man out on parade with not a shred of clothing on. I also had two guys approach me (with no one else in sight) and start asking me for money, in French of course. I ignored them as much as I could until one of them began to reach into my pocket. I smacked his hand away, yelled "Me touches pas, laisses moi!" as loud as I could. That's "Don't touch me, leave me alone" in French. He got the picture. Later on a motorbike, the driver stopped to ask directions (kid was hopelessly lost and with my limited French and knowledge of Douala's layout I wasn't much help). I had the money I planned to pay him for the ride in my left hand, and as he was asking a fellow for directions another guy approached me and started trying to pry my fist open! I said pretty much the same thing to him, throwing a few more "colorful" words, and then told the driver to just drive and let's get out of here.

On the drive back I sat next to another member of the 100+ club, but she was a little more curvy, and I was in the middle so I had more space to wallow around. We hit a checkpoint where all the passengers had to get out and walk along the road past the guard houses. Everyone else was grumbling but I thought I had won the lottery! A stretch break halfway to the destination? Where was this on the trip going there when my adductors were trying to buck the system?! Anyway, on top of being a white guy I'm sure I left an impression since I was the only one doing jump lunges past the check point and indiscreetly massaging my butt cheeks while waiting for the van to pick us up again.

The workweek was pretty tumultuous. On Monday there was a new intern at the hospital. By training she's a medical secretary, bottom line is that she's here to take my only job. I don't know why they never turn away job applicants, but the hospital is absurdly overstaffed. At any rate, my job on Monday was to train her in. That took about 20 minutes, the job's pretty self-explanatory. Sat around the rest of the day. Tuesday I had nothing to do. I sat around some more in the clinic and decided to carve a bar of soap to pass the time. Wednesday wasn't any better. I was tired of sitting, so I wandered around basically begging for a job to do. Ended up helping mop, then sorted a few papers, but even still I sat around mostly, and left work an hour and a half early. Even though I loathed the secretary job, I was pretty peeved that they replaced me before I even left. By Thursday I had hit my lowest point and finally went in to talk to the admin staff. They seemed a little surprised that I was saying anything, which is odd since I had no job. At any rate for Thursday I followed a nurse around and dispensed medications. At least it was something to do!  Later on in the day the head nurse came and talked to me about scheduling and talked with me more seriously about observing a delivery. I've asked about this stuff before and they've usually been super patronizing and not very helpful, but maybe now a change is coming. The doctor and his wife are going home to the Philippines in a few days, so that's also going to be a little strange not having them around.

Today I worked with the nurses again and actually got to start an IV which was pretty interesting. Next week I will also be observing the lady here who does ultrasounds, so things are looking up a bit. But most of the week was very stressful and I spent a lot of time angry and wondering what to do with myself for the next month. I was ready to up and leave on Wednesday, but I'm hoping things are going to smooth out some for the month I've got left here.

Although it's hard to keep my work life and real life completely separate, I've still been relishing the moments of not working at the hospital. I've noticed that channeling my frustrations into exercise has given me some noticeable results over the past couple weeks, and seems to calm me down. I've gained back all the weight I initially lost and have actually been putting on some muscle weight thanks to some free soy protein I managed to score. I've also still been studying French, and my newfound enjoyment of carving soap may provide me with some future entertainment. I haven't really experimented much with cooking lately, but I've got a good rhythm going and it's getting easier and easier to cook for myself. My trip to Douala yielded some different future meal options so that's a refreshing change. I'm also eternally glad that the baseball season has finally started, and cheering for the Giants (and the prospect of good even-year juju) gives me something more to appreciate. Even if the games didn't occur at really wonky times (like 3-6 am for most evening games on the west coast), the internet here is too crappy to even stream the audio broadcast of the games. Luckily I've been able to keep up with the live stat  cast during some games at reasonable hours, and watching post-game highlights.

I've gotten to the point where I'm still surviving, but I wouldn't say I'm thriving. This past week I got some other news that wasn't really unexpected, but has still been and will continue to be tough to deal with. Anyway, I could really use your thoughts and prayers as I endure this final push. April's been a rollercoaster so far, and I'm starting to get burned out and disillusioned with this whole situation. I want to leave on a good note, but I'm being pitted against the occasional temptation to leave burning skid marks on my way out of here (kinda like the DeLorean in Back to the Future). But the game face is on and I'm digging in for whatever may come my way: Good, bad, or ugly.

TL;DR Saw a buck naked guy and almost got pickpocketed twice in Douala. During the trips there my luck was bad and I managed to sit next to/be partially crushed by women who outweighed me by a solid 50-75 pounds. My job has gone through some major changes (read: I went from a boring job, to no job, to ???), so I spent most of the week twiddling my thumbs and questioning if I have a purpose here. I'm trying to enjoy that which is enjoyable, but it was rough this week. It got to the point where I wished I had a fast forward button and I could just go home. I'm still ready to go home, but it seems like some interesting potential opportunities might be headed my way. Have to wait and see.

Picture taken several weeks ago on a Sabbath afternoon hike to a swampy beach with David

Soap carving from Tuesday

I used a frontal and lateral photo from Google images as a model, turned out better than expected!

Latest soap carving which I started yesterday. Still have some finishing details to do on this one.