Adieu, Cameroon

Well, this is going to be my last regular blog post. On Sunday I fly out of Douala, with a layover in Addis, to Dublin. From Dublin I will take a 5 day detour to Paris, which I'm extremely excited about. After that I will return to Dublin and catch a flight to LAX, then SFO. It will be good to be back on American soil, that's for sure.

I've got a short list so far of what I'll miss in Cameroon. Most if it is pretty abstract. I am still so excited to be home that thinking of concrete and menial things that I'll miss is pretty hard, but I'm sure the realizations will come. I could write a real long list of things I don't miss, but I don't think that would be quite as constructive of an exercise, and it might taint the view that you, my audience, hold of me. At any rate, I'll stick with the positive parts of my experience here.

I will definitely miss the vibe at the weightlifting gym that I frequent 2-3 times/week. It's frustrating and crowded sometimes, but the place is so alive and busy, I think every weight room from now on will feel eerily lonely and empty, and almost institutionally clean. This gym isn't state-of-the-art by American standards, but it has character that I never thought a simple weight room could have. And the other people that fill the place just add to that character.

I am going to miss having the excuse, motivation, and most of all, the time to learn French. One great thing about being in Cameroon is that I have no shortage of time. I just have a shortage of things to fill that time with. Exercise is an integral part of my life wherever I go, but learning French is something that I wouldn't necessarily have dedicated myself to so seriously if I hadn't come here. Furthermore, I really really really hope I will have the determination in the future to stick with it and continue improving, not throwing away all that I've spent this time to learn.

Yes, I have sat and twiddled my thumbs for an inordinate amount of time here, but I have also had some opportunities to do things that I never would have been able to do in the States. Gee, that's vague. Let me expound: Watching ultrasounds, watching a baby be born, watching a circumcision, starting IV's, injecting medications, prescribing medications (with a doctor's approval), climbing the tallest active volcano in Africa, swimming in the Atlantic on the "west coast" at a black sand beach, seeing a naked guy walk unimpeded (by clothes or otherwise) down the street, eating a mango straight from the tree, seeing snails the size of a baseball, buying a week's worth of groceries for $10, and sitting in a 15 passenger van with 25 people in it. New things will happen in my life no matter where I am, but this "flavor" of unexpected surprises will be something that I will never really get again. Sure, these highlights were punctuations in hours of bang-your-head-against-the-wall boredom, but the highlights are what I'm gonna remember most.

While I won't miss it directly, I think the inefficiency and incompetence here will be something I'm acutely cognizant of when it's gone. Yes, it's a huge inconvenience, but I almost feel like the incredulity and dumfoundedness I experience almost daily is going to leave a hole when I don't have it anymore. I'm used to waking up each day and trying to guess what the dumbest thing I'll see or hear about will be, and yet...   I'm still always surprised. Maybe that makes jaded, but I really think that having something (or someone) to laugh about/at has helped me through this experience. Besides, it's teaching me to laugh it off, try to make the best of the situation, and  not sweat the small stuff.

I know most people find freedom of choice to be a life or death matter, but I've learned here that sometimes there's freedom in not having to make a choice. For instance I can pretty much only ever have 1-ply toilet paper here (Although two weeks ago I had a choice between pink or white). I don't have to choose the temperature of my shower, it's always chilly. There's one brand of chocolate here (you can find other candy bars, but for pure chocolate you get Mambo or you get nothing). I mean it's nice to be able to choose, but if my memory of the first world serves me correctly, there is an overload of viable choices (excluding our presidential "candidates"). Soap, shampoo, conditioner, "face soap with exfoliating beads". Sudoku or crossword puzzle. Cheerios and milk or granola and yogurt. Pandora or Spotify. Flip flops or wingtips. Whose car I'll drive. And then I gotta actually leave the house! Usually at the store I just pick whatever's the cheapest per serving, but I think the other decisions are gonna be hard for a while.

On the concrete side, I'll miss these small, lifechanging snacks called chin-chin. These little deep fried, sweet golden wonton chips of joy can't truly be appreciated until they're experienced. The flavor is most closely related to animal crackers, but they're so much more than that to me. I'm sure a recipe could be found online, but I think there's a secret ingredient that's closely guarded by some ancient African witchy woman.

Continuing with the tangible stuff, of course I will miss a number of my coworkers. The workplace is so much more interesting with all the different personalities, and I think each of my colleagues has brought a little something into my life and/or taught me something new whether I realize it or not. I think one thing that I'll miss is that any time I wear shorts and a t-shirt, people here at the hospital will ask me if I'm going to "make sport" (their funny way of saying exercise), and me explaining and reexplaining that, no, this is just the way I dress. I guess it's an honest mistake because sometimes I actually am going to "make sport", so it could be a little confusing. Following this logic though, I should go around asking everyone in blue jeans if they're going to "prospect gold", and everyone wearing flip-flops if they're headed to "make shower".

Even though it's ephemeral, I'll miss the view of the mountain. Most days it's not that good, but when it's good, it's great. Cameroon has very little to offer as far as wildlife viewing, and I'm still disappointed that the biggest "game" I've seen was a chihuahua sized rodent (so much for my aspirations of seeing elephants, giraffes, and zebras). On the other hand, as a closet bird-watcher I've found the avian life here to be pretty diverse and different than what I'm used to. I brought binoculars, but no field guide unfortunately. Next time I come to Africa I won't be caught with my pants around my ankles though, I'll  be better prepared.

Will I miss Cameroon? Parts, yes. Will I be back someday? Maybe. Did I have a good time? Yeah. Did I have a bad time? Yeah, that too. Was it really the hardest thing I've ever done? Not by most definitions of "hard". Did God put me here for a reason? I wish I knew the reason, but I have to believe the answer is "Undoubtedly".

TL;DR Leaving Sunday morning. Douala>Addis Ababa>Dublin>Paris>Dublin>Los Angeles>SFO. Will take the scenic route home through Paris! Looking forward to practicing my French. Abridged list of things I'll miss: Time on my hands, workout vibes, certain opportunities (although few and far between), the ridiculous stuff I see every day, some of the people, some of the views.