Some Things Never Change

I've had several people ask me (well not really ask, but imply that they wonder) how I find something to blog about every week. Some weeks are harder than others, but even when I have a typical, same old, same old week, I've usually come up with a few original thoughts. Maybe not about something cool that happened, but something I've just noticed about living here. I write a daily journal for one thing, so that keeps my information and thoughts fresh in my mind to return to later, although I've lately been really bad about forgetting to journal (and take my antimalaria pill!). It gives me a chance to toy with my thoughts on paper - tangibly, not just in my mind. I also have hours on end to myself each day. I do spend a lot of time filling it with "white noise" distractions like the internet and movies, but for 5 or 10 minutes here and there (more when the internet's on the fritz!) I have a lot of time to just ponder stuff. Unfortunately this occurs most strongly when I'd like to be falling asleep, but I get my 8 hours 80% of the time so I'm not gonna complain too much. Like any other skill that can be honed with use, I've found that I'm getting a lot better at noticing things about my environment that are noteworthy just because I've been doing it all this time. The rest is just the ability to take that noteworthy thing and write enough about it to make it seem interesting. I think I've gotten a fair amount of practice at this too. Also the pressure to have something for both of my regular readers (That'd be you, Mom and Dad) is a bit of a fire under me to think up something good. Either way, I appreciate the feedback I get and answering questions is an even better exercise in relating my daily life here.

On Saturday night I got a chance to see a choir concert at the University of Buea. One of the girls who attends the Adventist church was in the choir and had quite a few solos! It was cool to see a fellow Adventist representing well on stage. The concert didn't start on time (not a big surprise! Went an hour late anyway and still sat around for another half an hour). I was really surprised at how good the choir was though! They undertook some pretty ambitious pieces, but I was impressed nonetheless. They also didn't use music at all, which was impressive in itself since they sang around 18 songs, and not short ones either!

This last weekend I went to Douala AGAIN (That's twice in 2 weeks!). This time the objective was to sell my guitar to a doctor who came and visited the hospital in Buea for a few days and stayed in my apartment with me. I took a minivan there, buying out both of the passenger seats in the front (yes, they put two people in the front passenger seat usually.) Anyways it was super comfortable and definitely worth every penny/franc. Funny how I no longer take a seat to myself for granted. The weirdest part of getting home will be being in a car by myself. Driving wherever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I choose. Anyways, once I got to Douala I met the doctor and we made the exchange without a hitch. It went so smoothly I could hardly believe it! After that I did a final blitz through the two supermarkets I frequent out that way to buy just enough groceries to last me until I leave for home. I left from Buea at 6 am and made it back by around 1, so I had the rest of the day to relax.

I did more nursing this week until Thursday, when I was told that the girl who replaced me has a project in the pharmacy department and they need me to fill in for her at the patient registry. During the meeting I brought up the fact that I'm leaving in 3 weeks, and this seemed to catch them by surprise a little bit. Basically what transpired is that they decided I'm better off just finishing my work here doing the register for my last few weeks of working. I'm not too torn up about this I guess. I liked working in the nursing department, but it was hard work! I definitely got to do some interesting things in my 2 weeks on the beat, but most of the time I was just a gopher, walking back and forth between the pharmacy and hospital, up and down between the first and second stories dozens of times per day. I think I could have managed with it for the rest of my time but I'll never really know!
I'm starting to get really excited to finally just be home and back in my element. I'm wondering how much of it is going to be exactly as I imagine though. I mean, I might get back and realize that I've changed so much that parts of home seem foreign to me. And it might not be as relaxing as I've been expecting. I think I'll come around pretty quick, but I've missed a lot in the past 8 months! My family has gotten a new couch since I left, and they may even have a gotten a different car by the time I'm there too. I'm sure that Merced will have changed some too. I'm hoping that most of the roadwork on the freeway is finished and they've opened the on-ramp that's been closed since I got my driver's license!

For anyone interested, calling the "collect" number for my bank STILL costs me an arm and a leg, and I get cut off every time in the middle of the conversation. Needless to say it's pretty freaking frustrating and I've wasted probably 10 bucks in my time here just in making 3 or 4 calls, none of which resulted in any progress. I could have lit a 10 dollar bill on fire and gotten more use out of it that way. All I want to do is notify my bank that I'll be travelling internationally so my account doesn't get frozen! Moral of the story: Calling collect is a lie.

TL;DR Went to Douala, got moved back to the registration book. Also got to see a choir concert which was probably one of the best organized events I've attended here. Going through the phone menu/corn maze of a large American corporation is even more frustrating when you have to pay like a dollar a minute to call internationally. Even when on hold!

Quite possibly the best view of the mountain I've ever had!

Unfortunately warnings like these don't stop the drivers from doing 75 miles per hour on windy, potholed roads

There's Something About Maryland

Today marks exactly one month before my departure from Cameroon! Last week I would have told you it won't be bittersweet at all, but after being transferred I might actually miss this a little! My new job in the nursing department keeps me a lot more busy! I almost wish they would have transferred me sooner. Funny to think a week and a half ago I thought I wouldn't have anything to do here. Now it seems like this last month I will do more medically related stuff than I ever did before! Since last Thursday I've observed 5 ultrasounds, one of which was a Doppler (during slow hours in the nursing department), started 4 IV's, and mixed and dispensed countless other meds via IV ports (gave one girl her meds as she was in the process of vomiting. Right before my lunch break. That was interesting). I've cut myself on glass ampoules of injectable vitamin B, almost stabbed myself and at least one of my colleagues with syringes (fortunately they weren't contaminated yet), but never let it be said that I'm not learning and improving every day! I was even THIS close to seeing a delivery, but the patient gave birth so quickly that I missed it. I feel like my day is coming though!

Last weekend I got to go see a chief's coronation. The husband of the lady who does echography here was "elected" so there was a big ceremony. It was pretty similar to most other ceremonies I've been to. Loud music during all but the most important parts, beer company advertisements everywhere, a micromanaging and MC who clearly loved the sound of his own voice, late start due to waiting for the most important attendee (some big wig "District Officer" or something), and a big lunch afterwards. Luckily for me I showed up 2 hours late which ended up being right on time! I beat the DO by only 20 or 30 minutes which couldn't have worked out better! The ceremony itself wasn't terribly interesting in actuality, but it's a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I can say I've experienced it! Plus, Mme. Suzanne has been really nice to me while I've been here so I was glad to be able to go out and support the family! I was the only white person there, and they put me in the front row, sent me through the food line basically first, so I felt like a real VIP.

Yesterday after work one of the nurses actually thanked me for my help throughout the day and told me what a big help I was. I cannot tell you how big of an impact this made on me. This is the first time anyone has thanked me since I've gotten here. Not only that, but she told me I was helpful. That made up for at least 3 of the last 6 months of thanklessly slogging through patient paperwork. I didn't come here for recognition, but everyone can use a little affirmation every now and again. It's just nice to know that I was even able to make a difference one day, and being able to contribute to the hospital's productivity is the only thing I ever wanted here. I didn't come here expecting to be saving lives, that would be naive, but I wanted to at least have some tangible effect on patient's recovery, which I now get to do theoretically for the next 4 weeks until I leave.

 I'm not yet sold on switching my major to nursing or anything. It's a lot of education to go through to spend all day on your feet, cleaning up all kinds of bodily excretions, and trying to show the patients that you care (even when you don't sometimes!). I've definitely come to respect the sheer amount of work that nurses have to do each day. Paperwork, constant complaints/inquiries/general monkeybusiness from patients (who think they know more about their treatment than trained medical professionals) and visitors (who never observe the posted visiting hours and also feel obligated to give their medical opinion on their loved one's condition). Not to mention admitting patients, getting medications dispensed, communicating well with the doctor, etc! They're definitely stretched thin during their shift! In my personal experience, the only ones I ever hear talking about "how busy nurses are" is nurses (and boy do they beat the horse to death sometimes). I always kind of just dismissed it as a biased opinion. I mean what vocation goes around bragging that they don't work very hard? Besides maybe day-traders, golfers, food critics, professional poker players...    but I digress. Basically everyone says they work hard. Now my opinion has changed though: Nurses have earned the right to say the work hard (as if they were waiting for permission). I get done with the day and I just really want to sit down on good days, and take a nap on hectic ones. Combined with working out 3-4 nights a week and an overactive mind at bedtime and I'm practically a zombie as I write this now! Take away for me? Go easy on nurses in the future. I'm not gonna go around saying all nurses are underpaid and overworked, but at the very least they're often underappreciated! I hope that no matter where I end up, whether it's a career in healthcare or otherwise, that I remember my time working in the nursing department here and how it kicked my butt.

Every once in a while I'll meet a person here who has a friend or relative in the States. Without fail, whenever I ask where the person's living the answer is always the same: Maryland. Actually for the past two months every time someone mentions an acquaintance in the States, I just ask how they like living in Baltimore. I even tried asking one person if their friend was an Ravens fan, but the response was a blank stare. I'm not sure why every Cameroonian picks Maryland. Doesn't seem like there's anything special about it, and besides, isn't it a little on the cold side? Maybe they don't really get a choice where to go in the States...   I'm not sure! Personally I've never been to Maryland, but it's an interesting mental exercise to mix two completely separate "compartments" in my mind that have never touched before. I see a typical American city with an honest-to-goodness infrastructure, but also with a bunch of roadside stands, open air butcher shops, and very questionable automotive repair shops, with gutted cars stacked 3 high as far as one can see (as some sort of testament to their success rate... or lack of success). Baltimore is on my list of cities to visit someday: I'll have to get there eventually if I want to see a baseball game in every Major League ballpark, but my mental construction based on what I know of Cameroon and the U.S. separately has to be a little off the mark. I kinda was starting to wonder if anyone lives in Baltimore besides Cameroonians! Although the cuisine here is really the antithesis of vegetarian-friendly, if I ever miss Cameroonian food at least I know where to go.

TL;DR I went from no job last Wednesday to working the morning shift in the nursing department. Changes are hard, especially when  you don't know what to expect, but the winds of change blew in my favor this time. It's definitely an interesting job, and I enjoy it, but it sure is a lot of work! After 6 months of sitting around most of the day a little bit of work is probably good for me though. I'll be leaving for home in a month! It has gone by pretty quick. I got to see a chief's inauguration last weekend. It was typical Cameroonian fanfare, complete with a late start, but I was a step ahead and came 2 hours late on purpose! They put me under a canopy reserved for fairly important guests near the front of the "stage" area. I'm glad I went to support my colleague's husband, and to say that I've been, but the actual coronation ceremony wasn't exactly a Vegas show. There really is something about Maryland. It draws Cameroonians like moths to a lightbulb. I guess the 49 other lightbulbs to choose from are either too dim or don't have enough other moths flying around them to attract anybody. Kind of a strange phenomenon, but it's given me some interesting material to churn when I'm sitting around.

Where the pawns sat.

Good view from my seat

Big wig shows up. Immediately afterwards the national anthem was sung in about 6 different keys and tempos simultaneously

The new chief on his throne.

Big changes

This past Sunday I made a trip to Douala to buy groceries in a real supermarket. This is the first time I've gone alone, and let me tell you, it was an experience. I spent 2 hours crammed into the backseat of a minivan, pinned between the side of the car and a stump of a woman who weighed probably close to 120 kilos. My hips were immobilized, as well my knees for the most part. I don't consider myself a nervous person, but I fidget a lot and when my legs are stuck in one position for a long time it becomes excruciatingly painful. At any rate I spent the last hour in a considerable amount of discomfort. We got stuck in traffic which made it even more tough, not knowing how long it might take to finally reach Douala. On the open roads the guy was driving upwards of 70mph which was actually a little scary considering the condition of most passenger vehicles here.

Once finally in Douala I ended up having to walk a few places. Just to set the scene, on Sundays Douala is a complete ghost town. Hardly any roadside vendors, very few people out walking around (but the bakeries and supermarkets are open, which is all I really cared about anyway). During one walk I saw a man out on parade with not a shred of clothing on. I also had two guys approach me (with no one else in sight) and start asking me for money, in French of course. I ignored them as much as I could until one of them began to reach into my pocket. I smacked his hand away, yelled "Me touches pas, laisses moi!" as loud as I could. That's "Don't touch me, leave me alone" in French. He got the picture. Later on a motorbike, the driver stopped to ask directions (kid was hopelessly lost and with my limited French and knowledge of Douala's layout I wasn't much help). I had the money I planned to pay him for the ride in my left hand, and as he was asking a fellow for directions another guy approached me and started trying to pry my fist open! I said pretty much the same thing to him, throwing a few more "colorful" words, and then told the driver to just drive and let's get out of here.

On the drive back I sat next to another member of the 100+ club, but she was a little more curvy, and I was in the middle so I had more space to wallow around. We hit a checkpoint where all the passengers had to get out and walk along the road past the guard houses. Everyone else was grumbling but I thought I had won the lottery! A stretch break halfway to the destination? Where was this on the trip going there when my adductors were trying to buck the system?! Anyway, on top of being a white guy I'm sure I left an impression since I was the only one doing jump lunges past the check point and indiscreetly massaging my butt cheeks while waiting for the van to pick us up again.

The workweek was pretty tumultuous. On Monday there was a new intern at the hospital. By training she's a medical secretary, bottom line is that she's here to take my only job. I don't know why they never turn away job applicants, but the hospital is absurdly overstaffed. At any rate, my job on Monday was to train her in. That took about 20 minutes, the job's pretty self-explanatory. Sat around the rest of the day. Tuesday I had nothing to do. I sat around some more in the clinic and decided to carve a bar of soap to pass the time. Wednesday wasn't any better. I was tired of sitting, so I wandered around basically begging for a job to do. Ended up helping mop, then sorted a few papers, but even still I sat around mostly, and left work an hour and a half early. Even though I loathed the secretary job, I was pretty peeved that they replaced me before I even left. By Thursday I had hit my lowest point and finally went in to talk to the admin staff. They seemed a little surprised that I was saying anything, which is odd since I had no job. At any rate for Thursday I followed a nurse around and dispensed medications. At least it was something to do!  Later on in the day the head nurse came and talked to me about scheduling and talked with me more seriously about observing a delivery. I've asked about this stuff before and they've usually been super patronizing and not very helpful, but maybe now a change is coming. The doctor and his wife are going home to the Philippines in a few days, so that's also going to be a little strange not having them around.

Today I worked with the nurses again and actually got to start an IV which was pretty interesting. Next week I will also be observing the lady here who does ultrasounds, so things are looking up a bit. But most of the week was very stressful and I spent a lot of time angry and wondering what to do with myself for the next month. I was ready to up and leave on Wednesday, but I'm hoping things are going to smooth out some for the month I've got left here.

Although it's hard to keep my work life and real life completely separate, I've still been relishing the moments of not working at the hospital. I've noticed that channeling my frustrations into exercise has given me some noticeable results over the past couple weeks, and seems to calm me down. I've gained back all the weight I initially lost and have actually been putting on some muscle weight thanks to some free soy protein I managed to score. I've also still been studying French, and my newfound enjoyment of carving soap may provide me with some future entertainment. I haven't really experimented much with cooking lately, but I've got a good rhythm going and it's getting easier and easier to cook for myself. My trip to Douala yielded some different future meal options so that's a refreshing change. I'm also eternally glad that the baseball season has finally started, and cheering for the Giants (and the prospect of good even-year juju) gives me something more to appreciate. Even if the games didn't occur at really wonky times (like 3-6 am for most evening games on the west coast), the internet here is too crappy to even stream the audio broadcast of the games. Luckily I've been able to keep up with the live stat  cast during some games at reasonable hours, and watching post-game highlights.

I've gotten to the point where I'm still surviving, but I wouldn't say I'm thriving. This past week I got some other news that wasn't really unexpected, but has still been and will continue to be tough to deal with. Anyway, I could really use your thoughts and prayers as I endure this final push. April's been a rollercoaster so far, and I'm starting to get burned out and disillusioned with this whole situation. I want to leave on a good note, but I'm being pitted against the occasional temptation to leave burning skid marks on my way out of here (kinda like the DeLorean in Back to the Future). But the game face is on and I'm digging in for whatever may come my way: Good, bad, or ugly.

TL;DR Saw a buck naked guy and almost got pickpocketed twice in Douala. During the trips there my luck was bad and I managed to sit next to/be partially crushed by women who outweighed me by a solid 50-75 pounds. My job has gone through some major changes (read: I went from a boring job, to no job, to ???), so I spent most of the week twiddling my thumbs and questioning if I have a purpose here. I'm trying to enjoy that which is enjoyable, but it was rough this week. It got to the point where I wished I had a fast forward button and I could just go home. I'm still ready to go home, but it seems like some interesting potential opportunities might be headed my way. Have to wait and see.

Picture taken several weeks ago on a Sabbath afternoon hike to a swampy beach with David

Soap carving from Tuesday

I used a frontal and lateral photo from Google images as a model, turned out better than expected!

Latest soap carving which I started yesterday. Still have some finishing details to do on this one.

Butchers in Blazers

On Easter I said goodbye to David, my best friend here. His program at the University finished and he headed back to Germany. While it was tough to see him go, his absence was replaced with the realization that I'm leaving in only 6 weeks. It seems like it's gone by really fast, but as I sit here typing this the workday sure is dragging by slow. Interesting contradiction, that. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel which has me feeling predominantly excited, but that's just the main course in a gastronomy of emotions. Bottom line, I think I'm gonna make it to the end with most of my sanity intact. Work is mostly monotonous as usual. I did manage to score a new desk (well, more of a table really). The doctor got rid of this table since he got an actual desk with drawers. Anyways, this table/desk is pretty key because its surface is actually bigger than the record book! Before it was on a rolling cart which was tiny and I had to do some serious wrangling to write and keep the book on the surface, keep the cart from rolling away, etc. I've also stationed this desk in a different spot, which is pretty great. The cart was positioned so that when a staff member came through the door and left it opened (No matter how many times I asked them to close it, they would only do it about 10% of the time), I would find myself being stared at by a bench full of people in the waiting room. You'd think I have a second nose the way people stare at me here. It's pretty uncomfortable really, and I'm looking forward to going back home where everybody gets me mixed up with every other average white guy they know. All things considered, this setup I have now is a a lot better, so that's been a nice alteration to the daily grind.

My roommate moved out on Tuesday, spending not quite a week in my room. He said that the bed was so bad he wasn't sleeping well (He's 6'4" and I pretty much touch the headboard and footboard when I'm sleeping on my bunk). So he moved in with another staff member and then found a house a day or two later. It's been nice to have a space to myself again. As much as I like the guy, it was pretty crowded in there with the two of us. The plumbing saga never seems to end around here. There are constantly puddles, leaking pipes, and shoddy faucets. This week we had a swamp in the clinic, and the (dare I call him a) plumber, was nowhere to be found. I suspect that he comes in at night and loosens pipes so that we'll give him more work to do. If it were me, I'd have sacked the guy ages ago after he worked on my sink for an hour leaving a puddle and a still broken sink. I'm tempted to describe him using the name of a notoriously stubborn and unintelligent member of the equestrian family, but I think even with hooves said animal might perhaps do a better job. No thumbs vs. all thumbs, pick your poison.

I got my visa back this week which, if anyone's counting, means that they finished and got it back to me in 1 week. In brief, I'm shocked! This is quite possibly only example I've seen of speed and efficiency. It made a big impression on me! I also got a care package from Walla Walla postmarked December 7! I guess it must have gotten lost in transit somewhere, but that's gotta be some kind of a record. I got a t-shirt in the package which is always exciting. I have tons of t-shirts, but it gets to the point where no matter how many times you wash them, they still smell like mildew and feel grungy. It's hard to put into words how nice a new, untarnished t-shirt feels. Normally a clean cotton/polyester t-shirt wouldn't be that big a deal but this thing is like putting on a cloud.

Cameroonians are obsessed with expiration dates. I've found this out within the past few months, and it now makes sense how I was able to get Kraft mac n' cheese for next to nothing at the local imported foods store last December. Cameroonians will literally not take anything a single day past the expiration date. Even on the date of expiration, good luck! This applies to food, drugs, laundry detergent, anything. I don't know if there's any credence to this, but I've heard that some former staff spent time in jail for dispensing expired drugs. It gets tricky when people see the expiration being "March 2016" for instance. If it's March already a Cameroonian won't take it. Even if you explain that not only is it unexpired until the end of March, but it's quite safe to take drugs up to 6 months after the expiration date, they're not having any of it. Also, if the product originated in the U.S. the convention for marking the expiration date can cause mix-ups. When Cameroonians see 09.03.16 for example, they would say that it expires the 9th of March. In the U.S. though, this would mean it expires September 3rd. This concept is nearly impossible to explain to them. You couldn't even GIVE expired stuff away, they won't take it. It's so funny to me because for half a century, I'm sure all they were getting as far as imported stuff was expired. Good grief, I'm American and I eat expired stuff all the time, get over yourselves! This piece fits nicely into my grand-scale theory about Buea. Being the capital of the Southwest region, people try to act sophisticated and cosmopolitan since it's a "capital city". The proximity to Douala (capital of the Littoral region, and the financial capital of Cameroon) also means a lot of people have the taste of big city life. Personally, what I see is a bunch of hillbillies in an undeveloped town trying to act like something they aren't - evidenced by the fact that we only have a single imported food store, daily power/water outages, absolutely ludicrous internet, etc. You'll see people all dressed up to the nines for their job: I mean suits and ties! No jeans and a t-shirt here. I've seen butchers in blazers. It comes down to pride though. The people here are quite conceited, which is part of the city-slicker-wannabe attitude, being too good for expired stuff, and NOW I'm gonna tie this into a corollary theory of mine about bad movies (is this getting seriously overarching yet or what?) The credits in these terrible movies roll soooooooooo slow. The clear (to me) reason for this is that everybody wants to get their due recognition for their role in the movie, even if that role was a nonspeaking part. If it were me, I'd be embarrassed to have my name attached to such a half-baked, poor quality feature, but nobody here seems to feel this way. I guess the other possibility is that maybe people read really slowly here? Literacy rate's low so maybe that's the reason. Anyway, now that I've essentially tied together nearly every cultural observation I've had, it's time to go out and make some more to add to this conglomerate theory which is snowballing into a full blown dissertation

TL;DR My best friend left, I'm coming home soon myself though. Got a new office configuration with a real desk which I'm diggin. My roomie moved out because the bed was bothering him. Don't blame him, the bed bothers me too, I guess I'm used to it by now. The hospital's plumber is still happily employed, much to the detriment of everyone except him. My visa came back to me in record time, and I got a new t-shirt that feels so clean it makes me want to shout. Cameroonian's aren't big fans of the scratch n' dent section here (unless you're talking about their cars). Expired food and drugs go begging here, everybody seems too aloof to accept anything less than the best. Not sure how they survive because I've been getting by on "subpar" for most of my time here. One of those mysteries I guess.

Over the Hills and Far Away

Today was a national holiday in Cameroon. I guess Good Friday is nationally observed here. I thought Easter was in April usually, but I heard about this day off on Wednesday and immediately started making plans so that I'd have a good reason to not be around and get snookered into working. I ended up going to the house of my American missionary friends to help them out with some moving/organizing at their school, as well as doing 2 loads of laundry in their washer and dryer. This was HUGE for me! The clothes I sent through are so clean I hardly recognized them afterwards. Not to mention it only took an hour to dry each load instead of all day! I also took a hot shower at their house this week which another story for another time but it was the first one I've had in 6 months!

This Sunday I'll be saying goodbye to David, my closest friend here. He's headed back to Germany since his program at the uni is finished. It's tough to see him go, but it also makes me realize that I'll be headed home myself in about 7 weeks! It's gone by fast in hindsight, but man the workdays sure do drag by slow. I made a point to hang out with David extra this last week or two. Last weekend we went to visit a farm out in the tullies. This was a pretty fun trip. We got 4 guys on one motorcycle (me, David, another friend, plus the driver). We rode that way over fairly rough dirt roads for half an hour in each direction so that was an...     experience.

Once we made it to the hinterlands, I was able to try the fruit of a cacao seed pod. The seeds themselves are used to make chocolate, but they're surrounded by a white slimy pulp that tastes super nice, and get this: nothing at all like chocolate. It's almost got a citrus flavor to it. At any rate, that was quite a nice treat. I trekked through the jungle with shorts on and got 30-40 mosquito bites on my ankles which was not such a nice treat. I also climbed a mango tree to harvest some mangoes, which was a new experience for me as well. Somewhere on the way to this village, I was upset to find that my pocket knife either fell or was picked out of my pocket. Served me well for almost 10 years! Got my money's worth out of it a few times over and now whoever finds it will probably get more of my money's worth out of it. Fortunately David offered to sell me his knife since he is headed home and can get a new one easily. Anyway, I'm not without a knife, which is a big plus when it comes to eating mangoes and doing other knife-y stuff (like opening care packages!)

I had good news on the visa front this week finally. I didn't have to go back to Yaounde personally, and my visa was mailed through a bus service to be taken care of by the Union office. I'm stuck in Buea until they've finished and returned my new visa, so hopefully they're quick about it. I'm not expecting it back any sooner than 2 weeks though. And if it goes off without a hitch it will be nothing short of a miracle. I'm sure there's some malfunction that's coming my way, but there's no sense in worrying about it because nothing I can do will make the process any quicker. I also have a roommate again. The new Cameroonian doctor who will be subbing for Dr. Bellosillo when he goes on leave next month.  According to the hospital administration, he's going to be staying "only a couple days" while he finds his own apartment (it's already been 3 nights and it doesn't look like he's moving out anytime soon). It's difficult to fit two people in such a small room, especially since we have different schedules, lifestyles, preferences, first languages, etc. Plus I've been in the room for a while so my stuff fills up most of the place and he's living out of a suitcase, so it's probably tough on him too! Guess it's cheaper than a hotel, but I'm hoping the discomfort is incentive for him to find a place quick!

There's a good reason that you don't see any advertisements for "Cameroon Airlines". After logging  12 hours on a bus with no better way to entertain myself, I came up with what one might expect on a flight on the prestigious Nglonkafac Air or whatever eventual name an airline like this might receive:

For convenience, you'll board our planes directly on the runway (Show up on time, but understand that flights are subject to up to 2 hours of delay due to motorcycles blocking the runway.) Nglonkafac Airl believes in economy, so there are 4 people to every 3 seats. Additionally, we dabble in freight services so your luggage will be conveniently strapped to the roof of the plane. Any luggage which has made it through the flight can be collected in a big pile on the tarmac at your destination. The plane will be stopping at every airport between the flight's origin and destination to see if anyone wants to squeeze in. Here at Nglonkafac Air, we believe in preserving the planet, so we use recycled tires from taxis on our landing gear! Don't worry about the nuisance of preparing for take-off and landing! Bacteria-abundant tray tables have been removed entirely, and we welded the seats in the upright position around the 4th time the cushions were reupholstered. Additionally, our reading lights are strategically positioned to shine directly in the eyes of those wishing to sleep, and to not work for those wishing to read. Our pilots are highly qualified with plenty of practical experience: Each has logged at least 100 hours in the cockpit, and has been in an average of 3.8 wrecks, so rest assured that they're well prepared to land the plane in the event of an emergency!
If you're really feeling royal, consider Nglonkafac Air's VIP section. Don't be deterred by the fact that the fare will cost 3 times the regular ticket, because your VIP experience includes the following  amenities: A seat to yourself. Air-conditioned cabin. 1 croissant. 1/3 L bottle of Coke. You'll never have to worry about purchasing overpriced headphones! The in-flight entertainment (actually just pirated music videos consisting of a tasteful blend of obscure 90's artists, Nigerian pop music, and karaoke tracks of the Carpenters) is played at an ear shattering volume for EVERYONE to enjoy! Once this DVD is finished, you'll be privileged with French news radio at an equally alarming volume. Nglonkafac Air caters to the Cameroonian aversion to tranquility. You're also allowed, even encouraged to use your cell phone! Don't feel bad about shouting over the noise of our in-flight entertainment system. We hope you enjoy your flight on Nglongkafac Air, treated to our Cameroonian hospitality!

TL;DR Lots is going on this week. We got Friday off so I was able to help out reorganizing a school run by American missionaries in exchange for the use of their washer and dryer. My clothes are SO CLEAN! My best buddy is leaving on Sunday for Germany, which is bittersweet. The visa thing isn't taken care of yet, but it's in the process and there's nothing I can do to speed it up. I have a "temporary" roommate, and it's a bit cramped in the man (now men) cave for the moment. Cameroon's buses made me realize that there's a good reason they don't have an airline service. I did a little piece exploring the likely conditions of flying a Cameroonian airline above which was pretty fun to write.

Found this Toyota in Ikata and stopped to take pictures

The owner came out and asked what we were doing. I told him we were trying to steal it and then started laughing. He stopped asking questions after that.

Inside of a cocoa seed pod. That white pulp is the part you can suck off the seeds.

Making palm oil the old fashioned way

Managed to winnow it down to 3 passengers on the way back to Buea

Unattained objectives

I spent Sunday through Wednesday in the capital city of Yaoundé. Here's a quick rundown of the trip: First the bad. Of course, I went to get my visa renewed and in brief - that didn't happen. I got the ball rolling, but the longer version is that I spent over $100 to go there and spend 3 days just for the people at the Union office to make a copy of my passport. This being 2016, I should think it reasonable that a photocopy could have been made here in Buea and sent to them without me having to bodily go to Yaoundé to give it to them. The hospital administration seriously dropped the ball on informing me of this, and I'm still a little sore about it. The worse news is that they'll need my real passport for the stamp in about a week, so instead of staying in Yaoundé the whole time to wait for it, I opted to come back. I either have to entrust my passport and the 50-70,000 CFA renewal fee to somebody, or return to Yaoundé myself. So it looks like I'll be going back sometime next week. This option is only possible if they get the letter back before my visa actually expires, after which I'd be restricted from travelling outside of Buea at the risk of being caught with an expired visa. Otherwise I have to trust someone with my visa, which is a little bit too risky for my preference.

                

The good part is every other part of the trip was pretty neat. After getting to Yaoundé I made it to the Union office which was closed on Sunday afternoon. The French-speaking gatekeeper miraculously figured out my problem, and called somebody who took me to the compound where some Union workers stay. This was to be my "home base" for the duration of my stay. It had great views of the city and was in the "expat" part of town (with all the embassies). This meant that there was a supermarket 100 meters from the place, as well as some awesome restaurants. I waited until 9:30 pm for the current guests to leave, and tiredly got settled in. The first thing I noticed was the persisting smell of a hamster cage, which left little doubt as to whether I was sharing the room with mice. I met a guy about my age on arriving, whose name was Markus. He spoke English really well so I quickly latched onto him. He took me on a walk to show me around the area while we were waiting for the other people to leave. Turns out he's a vegetarian too! I had pizza with him after our walk to kill a little more time. It was his first time trying pizza, and he seemed to think it was okay, although he was worried that it was too expensive.

               

Monday morning was the visa fiasco, and I struggled with my French, but kept seeming to find an English speaker at just the right time. I managed to tour the SDA dental clinic located just below the Union offices too. That afternoon I helped Markus butcher a sick goat. Ironically, of all the possible candidates living on the compound, the two vegetarians were the ones doing this...   I'm not complaining though, it was really interesting and quite possibly the most "medical" procedure I've performed here. Seeing how all the muscles, internal organs, bones, tendons, etc. are packed in there is a pretty amazing and inspiring reminder! (WARNING: Pictures included below. I've posted the tamest ones I can find. The girl who I gave my camera to took some pretty graphic shots) After washing the smell of butchered goat off my hands (this was a real challenge) I went to a Chinese restaurant walking distance from the compound. I had tofu there for the first time in 6 months! On Tuesday I took a walking tour of Yaounde, and ended up visiting a garden, a cool monument, and a zoo. I ate Indian food for dinner. I'll tell you this, it's easy for Americans to feel like America is the center of the world and English is the only language ever, but when you see two Chinese guys ordering food from an African waiter in French at a restaurant owned by an Indian guy it really shakes up this mentality! Expatriates are an interesting bunch for sure.  By Tuesday I was a lot more comfortable with my French. Not good, but comfortable. During my stay, my lunches typically consisted of bread, fruit, and (real!) cheese. The bread in Yaounde is so cheap it's practically free and it's of way higher quality than anything in Buea. There's so much more variety with pastries too. And of course there were tons of supermarkets with cold sections so cheese was readily available. Any time I saw a supermarket or bakery I always went inside, mostly just to gawk at all the options. I spent most of my time on foot, so this happened quite often. Especially on Tuesday, I think I walked probably at least 6 miles. Other highlights of the trip included tuning up the kids' community bike on the compound, eating ice cream twice, unsuspectingly getting caught in the crossfire of a shoving match in downtown Yaounde, and getting sunscreen in my eyes with my hands full, walking around semi-blind and with tears cascading down my face until I managed to hail a taxi with my eyes closed. I didn't want to stop moving to make myself vulnerable to pickpockets or muggers in the busy part of town, and I had sunglasses on to hopefully conceal the fact that I was walking around with my eyes mostly closed. Aside from failing the main objective of the trip, I'd say it was at least interesting, if not a success.

TL;DR Went to Yaounde to renew my visa. Didn't get a new visa. Got ice cream, good food, and a lot of interesting experiences including butchering a goat, desperately trying to get by with my French that's not as good as I thought it was, seeing lions in a zoo (still wish I could see something besides birds and rodents in the wild, but evidently that's not in the cards)

View from my room

Giant cathedral in the main roundpoint of Yaounde

That's right, Yaounde has a Hilton! Little out of my price range

Cool Renault delivery van that's miraculously still running and in decent shape

La Monument de Reunification

Thought it was roadkill, but nope, just naptime!

First and probably only lions I've seen in Africa

This car (now parked at the SDA Union compound) used to belong to Cameroon's first president

Jesus, eagles, and Hannah Montana

Quick warning to all you Joe Walsh fans out there: This post has nothing to do with THE Eagles, but the bird of the same nomenclature. Sorry. I'm disappointed too.

This week has been really good. I feel like I've snapped out of a slump or something. I'll be honest, throughout the end of January and February I was struggling quite a bit with my job here, but I was also generally lonely and homesick. This month in has been a breath of fresh air so far, and I'm thankful. The way church goes here is not much my style, and I usually get nil out of it, but lately I've been able to get inspiration from other means: Playing guitar for prison ministry has been a pretty good experience for me. Getting to see a giant thunderstorm put my relative size and problems in perspective, and after the rain the clouds parted and for the first time in weeks I got a great view of the mountain that is the dominating backdrop of the northern horizon. Gorgeous, all of it. And to think I climbed it 8 weeks ago! That's the best part. Regardless of my string of back-to-back good days, things (especially work) are still difficult at times, but I hope my good mood sticks around. Another wonderful thing is that mango season is now in full swing, and, though small, there are tons of them everywhere (for really cheap)! They've quickly moved into my top 3 favorite fruits of all time behind kiwi and pineapple, and I've been known to eat 3 or 4 on a good day.

On Sunday the plan is to travel to Yaoundé to get my passport renewed. I'd appreciate your prayers and thoughts as I travel! The plan is to get all the boring stuff taken care of on Monday and then spend the next 2 days on a self guided tour (that more likely than not will turn into some sort of gastronomy). I'll also be forced to practice my French, since it's the main language there. At any rate, I'm looking forward to a few extended days off of work and the chance to see a new part of Cameroon. I still haven't had more than 2 consecutive workdays off since coming here, and in total I'd estimate I've only missed 10 workdays in total counting observed holidays and sick days (I worked on Christmas Day for pity sakes). I feel like I'm getting a raw deal when I realize my peers who are teaching get several weeks for Christmas, a week for Spring break, etc, etc, but I guess I'm getting the real "working man" experience here. Kinda makes me want to stay in school. Like, forever.

Upwards of 75% of the vehicles on the road here in Buea are taxis. Taxi drivers don't seem aggressive or competitive between each other, unless you're talking about the sweet bling they add to their cars. At first I thought they might just be trying to be more visible to other cars. Then I remembered an old saying I heard from a fisherman: "Selling fishing lures is 10% about attracting fish, and 90% about attracting anglers". I think that this maxim also can be applied to taxis, where fish are represented by other cars and anglers are represented by customers. I mean if they just wanted to be visible to other cars, they'd do the obligatory yellow paint job and just leave it at that. If you enjoy people watching or bird watching, you should come to Cameroon and try taxi watching as a pastime! It's pretty entertaining. Here are some things I've seen that make me say C'est ridicule, quoi! (Translation: That's freakin' ridiculous. It's becoming one of my all time favorite French expressions.) Some stuff is common, some stuff I've only seen once or twice:

• So many miniature flags hanging inside the windshield that I couldn't see out of it from the passenger seat.
• Taxis with about a dozen small plastic shoehorns hanging off the rear bumper.
• Taxis with electronic screens in perfect view of the driver (usually off or broken)
• Studded snow tires.
• A taxi dashboard plastered with multiple stickers of Jesus, eagles, and Hannah Montana. Not sure what was so appealing about this particular combination
• Taxis with stickers on the dashboard listing 50+ "symptoms" of yeast infections. Good information for a "medical missionary" although not the place I'd expect to learn it.
• Taxis with stickers on the glass obstructing  view of the speed/rpm gauges. Often times the gauges don't work so it's not like they're blocking anything useful.
• On a lot of taxis they remove the manual window cranks on the back doors and keep one in the glovebox. This is nice on longer trips so the handle isn't digging into your thigh. With 4 people squashed in the back seat, it really does make a difference.
• Really really matted shag carpet seat/dashboard covers. Pretty gross to imagine what all is hiding in those shag dreads.
• Taxis with ski/snowboard racks on the top (very common). They drive around with them open so they look like a bird trying to take off.
• LED lights. Everywhere.
• Quotes that are total nonsense, typically painted on with the exact same 3 colors of house paint (Maybe they're unionized and got a really good deal on these 3 colors...?) I stood out at the road for just 5 minutes to gather examples. Top 3 strangest phrases I saw were "Na Milk", "No Laf Man", and "Grand OJ". Other very popular terms include "VIP", "Turbo", and "Transformers"
• Abandoned taxis. On blocks, upside down, converted into chicken coops, advertisement boards, etc. If you can imagine it, it's undoubtedly been tried.
• A taxi with a giant, cast iron cross on the top. Wait, no that was a hearse. Different kind of taxi I guess :)

My curiosity got the best of me after seeing the hearse, because at that point I realized that I haven't seen any cemeteries in Buea. I asked around and found out that people here bury the deceased in their yards. Tribes from the Douala region bury them inside their houses, and yet other tribes bury a deceased spouse under the bed of the surviving partner! Guess that would rule out re-feng-shui-ing your bedroom! Some tribes keep the head of the patriarch in a plexiglass box. Other regions have regular cemeteries. Yard burial starts to seem pretty mainstream compared to some of the other stuff! This brings up more questions though: What if you live in a multistory building and want to bury your sweetheart under your bed? Do you rent out the apartment below you or bury them in the lobby...? Is there like a certain distance limit before it doesn't count? Like 3 stories max? If one decides to play Dance 2016 and forgets that Uncle Bob was buried in the rec room are they still technically dancing on his grave? And what if Aunt Sally dies right after you get the lawn fertilized? Are you really gonna dig all that up? Some questions just aren't meant to be answered I guess.

TL;DR My week was great, and I have a few days of "vacation" to look forward to soon. I still have only gotten a handful of off days (most of which I had to beg, plead, and/or play hooky for) so this feels well-deserved! It's technically a working vacation since my whole intent for going is to get my visa renewed. It's properly rain season, and consequently mango season now. I'm convinced that mangos are one of the best things Africa has to offer. Taxis here have some pretty interesting features that could only be described as kitschy. List above is worth a quick perusing IMO. Burial practices here range from standard to eyebrow-raising, and everywhere in between. Learning about these practices left me with more questions than answers.

This X-Ray should be in a textbook as an example of _________?

The new apartment building that was supposed to be finished in November

The union came for an audit of the hospital. James Earl Jones is their treasurer?!

Did war with a squatter/mouse 2 times in 24 hours so I tried to seal up my threshold a little better with duct tape and cardboard. So far it seems to have worked!

Regular attendance for the gym on a Thursday night. Typically we have 40+ guys working out between this room and one adjacent about 1/3 this size.

Last Sabbath I hiked to a waterfall. Behind the branches you can see the plastic box with the Virgin Mary, conveniently provided by your friendly, neighborhood Catholic parish. Not pictured are the 2 large viewing auditoriums behind me. I hiked 30 minutes back in pouring rain until a truck driver offered me a ride.

WARNING: This photo contains graphic descriptions of symptoms and references to reproductive organs