Over the Hills and Far Away

Today was a national holiday in Cameroon. I guess Good Friday is nationally observed here. I thought Easter was in April usually, but I heard about this day off on Wednesday and immediately started making plans so that I'd have a good reason to not be around and get snookered into working. I ended up going to the house of my American missionary friends to help them out with some moving/organizing at their school, as well as doing 2 loads of laundry in their washer and dryer. This was HUGE for me! The clothes I sent through are so clean I hardly recognized them afterwards. Not to mention it only took an hour to dry each load instead of all day! I also took a hot shower at their house this week which another story for another time but it was the first one I've had in 6 months!

This Sunday I'll be saying goodbye to David, my closest friend here. He's headed back to Germany since his program at the uni is finished. It's tough to see him go, but it also makes me realize that I'll be headed home myself in about 7 weeks! It's gone by fast in hindsight, but man the workdays sure do drag by slow. I made a point to hang out with David extra this last week or two. Last weekend we went to visit a farm out in the tullies. This was a pretty fun trip. We got 4 guys on one motorcycle (me, David, another friend, plus the driver). We rode that way over fairly rough dirt roads for half an hour in each direction so that was an...     experience.

Once we made it to the hinterlands, I was able to try the fruit of a cacao seed pod. The seeds themselves are used to make chocolate, but they're surrounded by a white slimy pulp that tastes super nice, and get this: nothing at all like chocolate. It's almost got a citrus flavor to it. At any rate, that was quite a nice treat. I trekked through the jungle with shorts on and got 30-40 mosquito bites on my ankles which was not such a nice treat. I also climbed a mango tree to harvest some mangoes, which was a new experience for me as well. Somewhere on the way to this village, I was upset to find that my pocket knife either fell or was picked out of my pocket. Served me well for almost 10 years! Got my money's worth out of it a few times over and now whoever finds it will probably get more of my money's worth out of it. Fortunately David offered to sell me his knife since he is headed home and can get a new one easily. Anyway, I'm not without a knife, which is a big plus when it comes to eating mangoes and doing other knife-y stuff (like opening care packages!)

I had good news on the visa front this week finally. I didn't have to go back to Yaounde personally, and my visa was mailed through a bus service to be taken care of by the Union office. I'm stuck in Buea until they've finished and returned my new visa, so hopefully they're quick about it. I'm not expecting it back any sooner than 2 weeks though. And if it goes off without a hitch it will be nothing short of a miracle. I'm sure there's some malfunction that's coming my way, but there's no sense in worrying about it because nothing I can do will make the process any quicker. I also have a roommate again. The new Cameroonian doctor who will be subbing for Dr. Bellosillo when he goes on leave next month.  According to the hospital administration, he's going to be staying "only a couple days" while he finds his own apartment (it's already been 3 nights and it doesn't look like he's moving out anytime soon). It's difficult to fit two people in such a small room, especially since we have different schedules, lifestyles, preferences, first languages, etc. Plus I've been in the room for a while so my stuff fills up most of the place and he's living out of a suitcase, so it's probably tough on him too! Guess it's cheaper than a hotel, but I'm hoping the discomfort is incentive for him to find a place quick!

There's a good reason that you don't see any advertisements for "Cameroon Airlines". After logging  12 hours on a bus with no better way to entertain myself, I came up with what one might expect on a flight on the prestigious Nglonkafac Air or whatever eventual name an airline like this might receive:

For convenience, you'll board our planes directly on the runway (Show up on time, but understand that flights are subject to up to 2 hours of delay due to motorcycles blocking the runway.) Nglonkafac Airl believes in economy, so there are 4 people to every 3 seats. Additionally, we dabble in freight services so your luggage will be conveniently strapped to the roof of the plane. Any luggage which has made it through the flight can be collected in a big pile on the tarmac at your destination. The plane will be stopping at every airport between the flight's origin and destination to see if anyone wants to squeeze in. Here at Nglonkafac Air, we believe in preserving the planet, so we use recycled tires from taxis on our landing gear! Don't worry about the nuisance of preparing for take-off and landing! Bacteria-abundant tray tables have been removed entirely, and we welded the seats in the upright position around the 4th time the cushions were reupholstered. Additionally, our reading lights are strategically positioned to shine directly in the eyes of those wishing to sleep, and to not work for those wishing to read. Our pilots are highly qualified with plenty of practical experience: Each has logged at least 100 hours in the cockpit, and has been in an average of 3.8 wrecks, so rest assured that they're well prepared to land the plane in the event of an emergency!
If you're really feeling royal, consider Nglonkafac Air's VIP section. Don't be deterred by the fact that the fare will cost 3 times the regular ticket, because your VIP experience includes the following  amenities: A seat to yourself. Air-conditioned cabin. 1 croissant. 1/3 L bottle of Coke. You'll never have to worry about purchasing overpriced headphones! The in-flight entertainment (actually just pirated music videos consisting of a tasteful blend of obscure 90's artists, Nigerian pop music, and karaoke tracks of the Carpenters) is played at an ear shattering volume for EVERYONE to enjoy! Once this DVD is finished, you'll be privileged with French news radio at an equally alarming volume. Nglonkafac Air caters to the Cameroonian aversion to tranquility. You're also allowed, even encouraged to use your cell phone! Don't feel bad about shouting over the noise of our in-flight entertainment system. We hope you enjoy your flight on Nglongkafac Air, treated to our Cameroonian hospitality!

TL;DR Lots is going on this week. We got Friday off so I was able to help out reorganizing a school run by American missionaries in exchange for the use of their washer and dryer. My clothes are SO CLEAN! My best buddy is leaving on Sunday for Germany, which is bittersweet. The visa thing isn't taken care of yet, but it's in the process and there's nothing I can do to speed it up. I have a "temporary" roommate, and it's a bit cramped in the man (now men) cave for the moment. Cameroon's buses made me realize that there's a good reason they don't have an airline service. I did a little piece exploring the likely conditions of flying a Cameroonian airline above which was pretty fun to write.

Found this Toyota in Ikata and stopped to take pictures

The owner came out and asked what we were doing. I told him we were trying to steal it and then started laughing. He stopped asking questions after that.

Inside of a cocoa seed pod. That white pulp is the part you can suck off the seeds.

Making palm oil the old fashioned way

Managed to winnow it down to 3 passengers on the way back to Buea

Unattained objectives

I spent Sunday through Wednesday in the capital city of Yaoundé. Here's a quick rundown of the trip: First the bad. Of course, I went to get my visa renewed and in brief - that didn't happen. I got the ball rolling, but the longer version is that I spent over $100 to go there and spend 3 days just for the people at the Union office to make a copy of my passport. This being 2016, I should think it reasonable that a photocopy could have been made here in Buea and sent to them without me having to bodily go to Yaoundé to give it to them. The hospital administration seriously dropped the ball on informing me of this, and I'm still a little sore about it. The worse news is that they'll need my real passport for the stamp in about a week, so instead of staying in Yaoundé the whole time to wait for it, I opted to come back. I either have to entrust my passport and the 50-70,000 CFA renewal fee to somebody, or return to Yaoundé myself. So it looks like I'll be going back sometime next week. This option is only possible if they get the letter back before my visa actually expires, after which I'd be restricted from travelling outside of Buea at the risk of being caught with an expired visa. Otherwise I have to trust someone with my visa, which is a little bit too risky for my preference.

                

The good part is every other part of the trip was pretty neat. After getting to Yaoundé I made it to the Union office which was closed on Sunday afternoon. The French-speaking gatekeeper miraculously figured out my problem, and called somebody who took me to the compound where some Union workers stay. This was to be my "home base" for the duration of my stay. It had great views of the city and was in the "expat" part of town (with all the embassies). This meant that there was a supermarket 100 meters from the place, as well as some awesome restaurants. I waited until 9:30 pm for the current guests to leave, and tiredly got settled in. The first thing I noticed was the persisting smell of a hamster cage, which left little doubt as to whether I was sharing the room with mice. I met a guy about my age on arriving, whose name was Markus. He spoke English really well so I quickly latched onto him. He took me on a walk to show me around the area while we were waiting for the other people to leave. Turns out he's a vegetarian too! I had pizza with him after our walk to kill a little more time. It was his first time trying pizza, and he seemed to think it was okay, although he was worried that it was too expensive.

               

Monday morning was the visa fiasco, and I struggled with my French, but kept seeming to find an English speaker at just the right time. I managed to tour the SDA dental clinic located just below the Union offices too. That afternoon I helped Markus butcher a sick goat. Ironically, of all the possible candidates living on the compound, the two vegetarians were the ones doing this...   I'm not complaining though, it was really interesting and quite possibly the most "medical" procedure I've performed here. Seeing how all the muscles, internal organs, bones, tendons, etc. are packed in there is a pretty amazing and inspiring reminder! (WARNING: Pictures included below. I've posted the tamest ones I can find. The girl who I gave my camera to took some pretty graphic shots) After washing the smell of butchered goat off my hands (this was a real challenge) I went to a Chinese restaurant walking distance from the compound. I had tofu there for the first time in 6 months! On Tuesday I took a walking tour of Yaounde, and ended up visiting a garden, a cool monument, and a zoo. I ate Indian food for dinner. I'll tell you this, it's easy for Americans to feel like America is the center of the world and English is the only language ever, but when you see two Chinese guys ordering food from an African waiter in French at a restaurant owned by an Indian guy it really shakes up this mentality! Expatriates are an interesting bunch for sure.  By Tuesday I was a lot more comfortable with my French. Not good, but comfortable. During my stay, my lunches typically consisted of bread, fruit, and (real!) cheese. The bread in Yaounde is so cheap it's practically free and it's of way higher quality than anything in Buea. There's so much more variety with pastries too. And of course there were tons of supermarkets with cold sections so cheese was readily available. Any time I saw a supermarket or bakery I always went inside, mostly just to gawk at all the options. I spent most of my time on foot, so this happened quite often. Especially on Tuesday, I think I walked probably at least 6 miles. Other highlights of the trip included tuning up the kids' community bike on the compound, eating ice cream twice, unsuspectingly getting caught in the crossfire of a shoving match in downtown Yaounde, and getting sunscreen in my eyes with my hands full, walking around semi-blind and with tears cascading down my face until I managed to hail a taxi with my eyes closed. I didn't want to stop moving to make myself vulnerable to pickpockets or muggers in the busy part of town, and I had sunglasses on to hopefully conceal the fact that I was walking around with my eyes mostly closed. Aside from failing the main objective of the trip, I'd say it was at least interesting, if not a success.

TL;DR Went to Yaounde to renew my visa. Didn't get a new visa. Got ice cream, good food, and a lot of interesting experiences including butchering a goat, desperately trying to get by with my French that's not as good as I thought it was, seeing lions in a zoo (still wish I could see something besides birds and rodents in the wild, but evidently that's not in the cards)

View from my room

Giant cathedral in the main roundpoint of Yaounde

That's right, Yaounde has a Hilton! Little out of my price range

Cool Renault delivery van that's miraculously still running and in decent shape

La Monument de Reunification

Thought it was roadkill, but nope, just naptime!

First and probably only lions I've seen in Africa

This car (now parked at the SDA Union compound) used to belong to Cameroon's first president

Jesus, eagles, and Hannah Montana

Quick warning to all you Joe Walsh fans out there: This post has nothing to do with THE Eagles, but the bird of the same nomenclature. Sorry. I'm disappointed too.

This week has been really good. I feel like I've snapped out of a slump or something. I'll be honest, throughout the end of January and February I was struggling quite a bit with my job here, but I was also generally lonely and homesick. This month in has been a breath of fresh air so far, and I'm thankful. The way church goes here is not much my style, and I usually get nil out of it, but lately I've been able to get inspiration from other means: Playing guitar for prison ministry has been a pretty good experience for me. Getting to see a giant thunderstorm put my relative size and problems in perspective, and after the rain the clouds parted and for the first time in weeks I got a great view of the mountain that is the dominating backdrop of the northern horizon. Gorgeous, all of it. And to think I climbed it 8 weeks ago! That's the best part. Regardless of my string of back-to-back good days, things (especially work) are still difficult at times, but I hope my good mood sticks around. Another wonderful thing is that mango season is now in full swing, and, though small, there are tons of them everywhere (for really cheap)! They've quickly moved into my top 3 favorite fruits of all time behind kiwi and pineapple, and I've been known to eat 3 or 4 on a good day.

On Sunday the plan is to travel to Yaoundé to get my passport renewed. I'd appreciate your prayers and thoughts as I travel! The plan is to get all the boring stuff taken care of on Monday and then spend the next 2 days on a self guided tour (that more likely than not will turn into some sort of gastronomy). I'll also be forced to practice my French, since it's the main language there. At any rate, I'm looking forward to a few extended days off of work and the chance to see a new part of Cameroon. I still haven't had more than 2 consecutive workdays off since coming here, and in total I'd estimate I've only missed 10 workdays in total counting observed holidays and sick days (I worked on Christmas Day for pity sakes). I feel like I'm getting a raw deal when I realize my peers who are teaching get several weeks for Christmas, a week for Spring break, etc, etc, but I guess I'm getting the real "working man" experience here. Kinda makes me want to stay in school. Like, forever.

Upwards of 75% of the vehicles on the road here in Buea are taxis. Taxi drivers don't seem aggressive or competitive between each other, unless you're talking about the sweet bling they add to their cars. At first I thought they might just be trying to be more visible to other cars. Then I remembered an old saying I heard from a fisherman: "Selling fishing lures is 10% about attracting fish, and 90% about attracting anglers". I think that this maxim also can be applied to taxis, where fish are represented by other cars and anglers are represented by customers. I mean if they just wanted to be visible to other cars, they'd do the obligatory yellow paint job and just leave it at that. If you enjoy people watching or bird watching, you should come to Cameroon and try taxi watching as a pastime! It's pretty entertaining. Here are some things I've seen that make me say C'est ridicule, quoi! (Translation: That's freakin' ridiculous. It's becoming one of my all time favorite French expressions.) Some stuff is common, some stuff I've only seen once or twice:

• So many miniature flags hanging inside the windshield that I couldn't see out of it from the passenger seat.
• Taxis with about a dozen small plastic shoehorns hanging off the rear bumper.
• Taxis with electronic screens in perfect view of the driver (usually off or broken)
• Studded snow tires.
• A taxi dashboard plastered with multiple stickers of Jesus, eagles, and Hannah Montana. Not sure what was so appealing about this particular combination
• Taxis with stickers on the dashboard listing 50+ "symptoms" of yeast infections. Good information for a "medical missionary" although not the place I'd expect to learn it.
• Taxis with stickers on the glass obstructing  view of the speed/rpm gauges. Often times the gauges don't work so it's not like they're blocking anything useful.
• On a lot of taxis they remove the manual window cranks on the back doors and keep one in the glovebox. This is nice on longer trips so the handle isn't digging into your thigh. With 4 people squashed in the back seat, it really does make a difference.
• Really really matted shag carpet seat/dashboard covers. Pretty gross to imagine what all is hiding in those shag dreads.
• Taxis with ski/snowboard racks on the top (very common). They drive around with them open so they look like a bird trying to take off.
• LED lights. Everywhere.
• Quotes that are total nonsense, typically painted on with the exact same 3 colors of house paint (Maybe they're unionized and got a really good deal on these 3 colors...?) I stood out at the road for just 5 minutes to gather examples. Top 3 strangest phrases I saw were "Na Milk", "No Laf Man", and "Grand OJ". Other very popular terms include "VIP", "Turbo", and "Transformers"
• Abandoned taxis. On blocks, upside down, converted into chicken coops, advertisement boards, etc. If you can imagine it, it's undoubtedly been tried.
• A taxi with a giant, cast iron cross on the top. Wait, no that was a hearse. Different kind of taxi I guess :)

My curiosity got the best of me after seeing the hearse, because at that point I realized that I haven't seen any cemeteries in Buea. I asked around and found out that people here bury the deceased in their yards. Tribes from the Douala region bury them inside their houses, and yet other tribes bury a deceased spouse under the bed of the surviving partner! Guess that would rule out re-feng-shui-ing your bedroom! Some tribes keep the head of the patriarch in a plexiglass box. Other regions have regular cemeteries. Yard burial starts to seem pretty mainstream compared to some of the other stuff! This brings up more questions though: What if you live in a multistory building and want to bury your sweetheart under your bed? Do you rent out the apartment below you or bury them in the lobby...? Is there like a certain distance limit before it doesn't count? Like 3 stories max? If one decides to play Dance 2016 and forgets that Uncle Bob was buried in the rec room are they still technically dancing on his grave? And what if Aunt Sally dies right after you get the lawn fertilized? Are you really gonna dig all that up? Some questions just aren't meant to be answered I guess.

TL;DR My week was great, and I have a few days of "vacation" to look forward to soon. I still have only gotten a handful of off days (most of which I had to beg, plead, and/or play hooky for) so this feels well-deserved! It's technically a working vacation since my whole intent for going is to get my visa renewed. It's properly rain season, and consequently mango season now. I'm convinced that mangos are one of the best things Africa has to offer. Taxis here have some pretty interesting features that could only be described as kitschy. List above is worth a quick perusing IMO. Burial practices here range from standard to eyebrow-raising, and everywhere in between. Learning about these practices left me with more questions than answers.

This X-Ray should be in a textbook as an example of _________?

The new apartment building that was supposed to be finished in November

The union came for an audit of the hospital. James Earl Jones is their treasurer?!

Did war with a squatter/mouse 2 times in 24 hours so I tried to seal up my threshold a little better with duct tape and cardboard. So far it seems to have worked!

Regular attendance for the gym on a Thursday night. Typically we have 40+ guys working out between this room and one adjacent about 1/3 this size.

Last Sabbath I hiked to a waterfall. Behind the branches you can see the plastic box with the Virgin Mary, conveniently provided by your friendly, neighborhood Catholic parish. Not pictured are the 2 large viewing auditoriums behind me. I hiked 30 minutes back in pouring rain until a truck driver offered me a ride.

WARNING: This photo contains graphic descriptions of symptoms and references to reproductive organs

Je parle que un peu

This week has had a lot worth mentioning. First of all, last weekend on Saturday, the annual Mount Cameroon Race for Hope occurred. Each year a number of participants run in an almost marathon (24 miles) that goes from the local "sports complex" (basically a soccer field and a basketball hoop) all the way to the top of Mt. Cameroon, and then back. I woke up a lot earlier than I normally would on a Saturday to watch them all run by. As usual, I was awake and out the door on time (6am), and the race started an hour and a half later than I was told it would. Either it started late, or I was misinformed. Either is equally likely! At any rate, it was cool to watch the people headed out, knowing exactly how far they had ahead of them. Having climbed the mountain myself makes their achievement that much more impressive, I walked up (barely) and I was absolutely knackered! It took me 2 days to do what the fastest ones do in 4 hours. I can't imagine how tiring it must be. Many locals compete specifically for the prize money of winning 1st place - the equivalent of $20,000. The top finishing male and female each win this amount. There's also a relay category, and I'm not sure what the winning team of that gets. Most people start training like a month in advance, hoping to be the one to win. Of course the ones that win it are the ones that have trained all year, and many of them have won it before. One woman won it 7 times before being forced into retirement. Predictably, there are other "thrillseekers" (or masochists) who come to Cameroon just for the race. I saw a smattering of Europeans and Americans (all white people look the same so I couldn't be sure who was who). I also heard rumors that there were at least a few Kenyans running, but I can't confirm this. I mainly just watched in the morning as they were headed up. The first place runner passed by on the way back while I was at church. I could tell because the first place runner has a police escort, with sirens. After church most of the people were coming by 2 or 3 at a time, and all very spread out, so it didn't keep my attention for very long.

This last week the weather reached the height of its intolerability. The mornings for the past few weeks have been nice and breezy but by about 1 in the afternoon it would heat up and the air would get stagnant. I start sweating pretty bad in my 100% polyester scrubs. They're not the epitome of breathable, that's for sure! At any rate, the clouds have been rolling in and it's been looking like it really wants to rain for the past 2 weeks. I was hoping it would just do it already, because that would probably bring the humidity down a few points. On Tuesday, sure enough, it poured for a good  hour, and then rained even more during the night. Made the atmosphere a lot more pleasant, and it cut down on the dust too which was a nice side benefit! Of course now there's mud, but it's a change at least.

One day in the clinic we had a patient who said she didn't speak English (of course there are different degrees of "don't speak English", but she seemed pretty high functioning). At any rate, she was adamant about speaking French, so the doctor had me get someone to translate. After that I figured I had nothing to lose by trying, so I started asking her the usual questions in French (What's the matter, how long has it been the matter, have you taken any meds, do you have HIV). Even without the translator's help I got a good idea of what was going on. I ordered the labs, explained what we were going to do, and sent her to the lab. When she got back I didn't even bother getting the translator, I just explained the diagnosis and medications as best I could. This was pretty exciting for me because it marked my first consultation done entirely in French. It was touch and go at times but I still felt pretty accomplished that I was even able to get through the entire thing and get the point across at least. Looking back to less than 6 months ago when I got here only knowing "Bonjour", "Excusez-moi" and struggling to spit out a "Ou sont les toilettes?" on a good day, I'm pretty excited about my progress! I'm hoping it sticks and I can find some time to continue learning it back in the States.

I had the opportunity to give a guitar lesson this week as well. The kid's already pretty good, but he seemed to think he could learn a thing or two from me, so who was I to turn him down? Not sure it will turn into a weekly thing, but I may meet with him a couple times a month just to show him some stuff.

I took a walk at some point during the week after work, just hoping to experience some new sight, sound, smell...    anything really. These walks usually don't produce anything interesting, but today's walk was different. As I was walking I saw a sign on a building that said "Art Exhibition - free portraits". I was curious so I snooped around and found an open door! It was 3 friends doing a joint showing. I managed to find it within the last few hours of the last day! I looked at the numerous paintings for probably 20 minutes, stopping for the artist to explain each one. A lot of recurring themes were animals, the future, opportunity, inspiration, etc. They used a lot of very cultural symbols which was a cool new way to learn about the culture. I had seen plenty of songs and dances, plenty of carved wooden sculptures, but not many paintings. They seemed excited to have me there, they actually gave me one of their smaller paintings just as a souvenir! Obviously the intent is that I hang it up somewhere that a lot of people will see it to get them some publicity. Transporting it back to the U.S. might prove a bit of a challenge, but for a free painting, I think I can make something work! I'll definitely have to take it off of the frame. As promised, one of the three amigos sketched my portrait. He confessed it was the first time he had ever drawn a white guy. I think all things considered he didn't do too bad. I put the picture up so you can decide for yourself though.

TL;DR Interesting week involving the annual Mt. Cameroon race, the arrival of rainy season, giving a guitar lesson, speaking French, and happening on a free art exhibition.

I've long since gotten over the novelty of people carrying things on their heads, but this guy stuck out a little more than others.

People running by. I have lots more pictures of this, but one is probably sufficient.

First helicopter I've seen since leaving the US. This one was providing aerial coverage of the race.

African Corbin next to American Corbin

I somehow get the feeling that Nike doesn't do many field tests in Africa